Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
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