I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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