just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
