I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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