Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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