If i come over, it means nothing
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
