what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
