I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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