Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
