the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
