i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
