i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We need a shit load of segways right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
