Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
