is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
