The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
