Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize