She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
