distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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