Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
