I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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