was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
