Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize