Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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