I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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