just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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