New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
