In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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