im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
