worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize