doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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