when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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