she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize