does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
