I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
