I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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