Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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