Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
