You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
