why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
