Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
