The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
