Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think your dad took our porno
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
