Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
