walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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