Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
