As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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