And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
