so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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