is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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