I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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