never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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