I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
