I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
