we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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