I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
