I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
